Funny Sayings

1. If time doesn't wait for you, don't worry!
------------ --- just remove the damn battery from the clock and Enjoy life!
2. Expecting the world to treat u fairly coz u r a good person is like
------------ ----expecting the lion not to attack u coz u r a vegetarian. Think about it.
3. Beauty isn't measured by outer appearance and what clothes we wear,
------------ ---but what we are inside. So, try going out naked tomorrow and see the admiration!
4. Don't walk as if you rule the world,
------------ ---walk as if you don't care who rules the world! Now that's Attitude…!!!
5. Every lady hopes that her daughter will marry a better man than she did
------------ ---and is convinced that her son will never find a wife as good as his father did!!!
6. He was a good man. He never smoked, drank & had no affairs. When he died, the insurance company refused the claim.
------------ ---They said, he who never lived, cannot die!
7. A man threw his wife in a pond of Crocodiles?
------------ ---He's now being harassed by the Animal Rights Activists for being cruel to the Crocodiles!
8. So many options for suicide: poison, sleeping pills, hanging, jumping from a building, lying on train tracks,
------------ ---but we chose Marriage, slow & sure!
9. Only 20 percent girls have brains, the rest have boyfriends!
10. All desirable things in life are either
------------ --- illegal, banned, expensive or married to someone else!
11. Laziness is our biggest enemy- Jawaharlal Nehru.
------------ --- We should learn to love our enemies- Mahatma Gandhi .
So, now you do the math.
13. 10% of road accidents are due to drunken driving.
------------ --- that means 90% of accidents are due to driving without drinking!... ....hmmmmm